The Cow Car
|(more pictures here)
Note: the cow car was "put out to pasture" in April of 2001.
I am just a little cow car.
I live in Cambridge, MA with my friend Tony.
I live in the driveway... Tony has to live in the house.
I like to moo at people and answer their email: firstname.lastname@example.org
(please put the word "MOO" in the subject to be sure I see it)
I like to spend my time parking and not learning HTML.
Cow Car Frequently Asked Questions -- handled by Tony
- Do you work at
Ben & Jerry's or
- No. I am working on an independent historical research study called The Dreadnought Project.
In recent past jobs, I worked at Wildfire Communications, Resounding Technology, HearMe, and Orange.
- Then why is your car painted like a cow?
- Just for fun.
- Does she moo?
- Yes! I installed the Mooz Control Option Package
(you may have to search around to find one that works for you... someone
sent me this link). A
button makes her moo with 110 watts of gusto. The regular horn beeps as always
(most cows have 2 horns).
- Who painted her?
- She was a white Miata. I realized she was a cow at heart. A friend put me in touch with Woody
Jackson (the man who did the artwork for Ben & Jerry's). I asked him to help
reveal the Holstein within my car. Woody offered to paint a model car, so I
built a 1/24th scale Miata, and Woody generously designed the scheme and
refused efforts to repay him. (Thank you Woody!) I based my work on his
scheme, simplifying it somewhat. I masked out the patterns with a vinyl tape,
filled in the broad regions with masking tape, and took her to Maaco.
They sprayed her black. After drying, I removed the masking, and voila
a cow car!
- Why is she painted white now (Jan 2001)?
- The cow car needed to be repainted, and it is winter now. I painted her white (at A-Z Autocenter in Cambridge)
to ensure that
the winter did not hurt her ailing paint. I will apply the spots as soon as the weather gets warm.
- Does the cow car have a name?
- Well, Jessie-- But I mostly just call her The Little Cow Car. I find myself
talking to her alot. You'd be surprised at how many people call her a "cow car"
when they see her for the first time. The name is inescapable.
- Why Jessie?
- I wrote a song named "Jessie the Cow".
There's also a children's book of the same story.
- Why does the license say HOW-NOW?
Isn't that "How now, brown cow?"
- Yes. I'd be very interested in discovering the origin of that phrase. The
truth is that I asked for "MILK-ME" and the Registry people nixed it. I see
HOW-NOW as reflecting a confident air that says, "I'm a cow car and I feel
good about it. Who are YOU?". The subtext, however, remains "Milk me!"
- Are there other cow cars?
- Yes! I have seen a half dozen with my own eyes. The cow car gets
all happy to have friends and moos with glee. If you own a cow car, send mine
email (email@example.com) and we can arrange a cattle drive.
- Are they on the Web?
- Yes! (or scanned onto my page here) Here is just 15 head from the global herd.
- Can I send email to the other cow cars?
- Often not. Cow cars face real challenges in getting access. It's
- That sucks! Maybe someone should offer services to get cow cars better access to the
Information Super Highway.
- That's a good idea. COWZ is a Bovine-inspired computer Bulletin
Board System that offers internet access and email connectivity for people and
cow cars alike. They are really fun people, and they helped the cow car get
hooked up. Go check them out!
- Can I have a ride? I want to make the cow car moo!
- You can always ask. The cow car and I enjoy people who have a sense of
fun. Just stop me if you see me parking.
- Moo! Moo! Ahem -- I mean, where can I find more cow information?
- I think you better check out the Cow Car's Bookmarks.
- Why doesn't everyone drive a cow car?
- I blame narrow attitudes in Detroit. I mean, what jerk came up with the
marketing jingle, "Cattle lack, cattle lack, cattle lack style?" How
mean-spirited can you be?
- Is there a downside to driving a cow car?
- Sometimes, it is tough to have a lifetime posting as the ambassador of fun.
It is not easy to be pissed off when there are kids waving who deserve a
smile and a wave back.
- Do you ever drive other cars?
- The cow car is my only car. But sometimes I go on a trip and rent a car
and find it reassuring that people stop pointing and laughing at me.
- I was in Harvard Square and... and... I was mooed -- repeatedly!
- It sounds like my friend Keith
must have been at the Mooz Control button
that day. The police suspect him of several unsolved drive-by mooings, and I
have to say he is more reckless about it than I am.
- Basically, this seems to be a car pretending to be a cow. What if
you approached this from the other angle?
- I suppose if a cow thought it was a car, it would invite the
development of products like the cow wash.
Pinch me! I won an award! Moo! Moo!
Please. No more awards. Send sugar cubes or holiday cards.